An Open Letter To Kathleen Lolley

Oh, nationally renown Louisville-based artist Kathleen Lolley. Is there any holiday you can't conquer with your whimsy? You've already stunned and delighted us with your Lolley Land window display during Halloween. Now you've gone and turned Christmas into a Burton-esque dreamscape of nightmarish wonder.

Just look at what you've wrought upon the holidays this time:



A beautifully hand-crafted, limited edition Strawberry and Bee Christmas Tree Ornament. The anthropomorphic bee creature on the front is obviously up to no good and should be kept far away from innocent people's Christmas presents. On the back side of his strawberry home are a couple of bee minions on their way to do his dirty work. Gosh dang, Kathleen Lolley. The ornaments are adorable, captivating, and irresistible. And since they're only $25, no Christmas tree will be safe from your magic! How DO you do it?



As if the ornaments weren't enough, you had to go and make some amazing holiday cards, too. It's well known that more and more people are befriending and giving holiday gifts to Yetis this year, so obviously you jumped at the chance to make your "Friends With A Yeti" card as widely available as possible. It's as if you knew that I, personally, have an uncle who is a lovable Tree Being, and I'm always looking for the right way to wish him a happy Hanukkah. I really have no choice but to send him your "Owl & Tree Hug" card. And how did you know that my sister constantly has an owl friend perched upon her right shoulder? How can she resist your "Happy Holidays" card that features none other than an owl perched upon a girl's right shoulder? Truly you are a warden of magical beasts.

The most maniacal part of your whole plan is that your ornaments and cards, as well as your T-shirts, pillows, and other accessories, are conveniently available at WHY Louisville. Hell, most of them can even be ordered online. Like the Grinch before you, surely you will not be satisfied until you've either conquered Christmas or the Whos down in Whoville have made your heart grow three sizes.

Stellar Sweets: They'll Do In A Pinch

"Okay, just one more store and we're done shopping for the day," she said.

"You've been telling me that all weekend! I've been carrying your bags since the crack of dawn on Friday morning, and my legs hurt, and I would kill for something to eat. We better make this stop a quick one."

"I carried your son in my womb for nine months!" she retorted. "The least you can do is carry some Christmas gifts down Bardstown Road for an afternoon!"

She had me there. But man, was I hungry. We walked into WHY Louisville and my spirits drifted even lower. So many things! So many cute things! My wife will spend no less than all afternoon in this store, I thought. I'd give anything for a piece of chocolate right now. I wandered over to the checkout counter in hopes of sending her that "hurry up, woman" signal. My eyes passed over the jewelry case and the curiosities on display behind the counter, but all I could think about was my alarming hunger.

But what luck! There on the counter sat the answer to my prayers. Locally made Fleur-de-Lis chocolates and chocolate owl suckers from Stellar Sweets! Each one was handsomely wrapped, beckoning me. There were dark chocolate, white chocolate, even orange chocolate Fleur-de-Lis! And I could swear the little owl sucker winked at me. I immediately grabbed one of each and thrust them at the clerk. "You've saved my life!" I exclaimed as I handed over my money. Locally made, and only $2.50 and $2 each! They gave me just the energy I needed to survive the rest of the afternoon. And just in the nick of time--my wife had discovered the onesies. There was no way we were getting out of there any time soon.

Chocolates by Stellar Sweets:

• Stellar Sweets is Louisville owned and operated and uses high quality, local, and some organic ingredients for all baked goods
• Chocolate Fleur-de-Lis come in dark chocolate, white chocolate, and orange chocolate varieties and are individually wrapped for $2.00 apiece
• Chocolate Owl Suckers are individually wrapped and are $2.50

Keep Your Friends Close And Your Owls Closer

These flashy little owl friends flew all the way from exotic climates for the express purpose of getting very, very close to you. The 28" Copper Metal Hinged Owl Pendant Necklace is particularly interested in clinging to your chest and greeting your friends and neighbors with his black bead eyes. His segmented body is 2½ inches of die cast copper and he hangs from a copper metal link chain. He can become your very close personal companion for a mere $22.

And he has friends.

Silver and Gold Metal & Rhinestone Owl Rings flew in from the same latitudes as their necklace buddy and they're equally as excited to begin being your personal fashion trademark. Each inch-wide ring is covered in eye-catching rhinestones. For $15 apiece, you could very well display an entire owl colony from your own two hands.

We've got these owl guys and a lot more new jewelry items down in the storefront. Come feast your eyes upon mustache, deer, and octopus necklaces, just to name a few.

Flasks and Coffee Mugs: Two Peas in a Drunken Pod

If you've looked at your calendar lately, you may have noticed that Thanksgiving is in three days and the 2009 Holiday Shopping Season is to follow immediately after that. I don't know about you, but I think that sort of combination calls for a little drink. And not the "celebratory Happy Hour cocktail" kind of little drink. I'm talking about the first-thing-in-the-morning, dear-Lord-how-do-I-make-it-to-January kind of drink. But why on Earth would I want to use last year's played out flask-and-mug combination to make my highly coveted Hair Of The Dog Special?

Thank The Maker! Now I can head to WHY Louisville and pick up an all new Fleur-de-Lis Flask and "Coffee Tastes Better In Louisville" mug. The flask is made of high quality stainless steel, the mug is made of environmentally friendly US corn plastic, and they're both under sixteen bucks. That leaves me enough cash to head to Old Town Liquors and pick up some of my favorite "non-dairy creamer."

"Coffee Tastes Better In Louisville" Mug - $12.99

* Jumbo size 16oz mug
* Made from 100% US Corn Plastic
* Microwave safe, hand-wash recommended

Fleur-de-Lis Flask - $15.99

* 6oz stainless steel
* Double wall insulation
* attached screw-on lid

A Stamp Set For The Rest Of Us

Say, friend. Do you often dream of the glory and adulation so lavishly bestowed upon talented artists? Do you, too, want to feel the tingle of joy when someone says, "Hey, that's a fine looking cityscape you drew, there", or even, "Hey, that's a fine looking Winter wonderland you drew there." Are you afraid you'll never hear those tender words because you lack even the slightest degree of artistic talent?

Well, we can meet you half way.

New at WHY Louisville are these awesome stamp sets from Yellow Owl Workshop. No talent is required to create a beautiful cityscape scene complete with financial sector, city park, and residential neighborhood. Or perhaps you'd like to be known for your lush Wintery landscapes, adorned with Alpine mountains and realistic wildlife. Create your own (quite limited) artistic niche with a little help from the art of block printing.

• Each stamp set comes with five stamps made from reclaimed maple and natural rubber
• Beautifully packaged in a hand-finished birch box
• Winterscape and Cityscape sets are only $29.99!

Like what Yellow Owl has to offer? Be sure to stop in and check out our assortment of Yellow Owl cards and paper goods.

Fleur-de-Lis Necklaces in Assorted Colors (Not Edible)

We're now serving up a veritable rainbow of Fleur-de-Lis necklaces. These fancy little darlings feature a 2.5 inch epoxy resin Fleur-de-Lis charm attached to a sturdy 30 inch chain. Available in orange, blue, green, yellow, and purple for $12 each.

And don't forget about our line of sterling silver Fleur-de-Lis jewelry. It would be downright foolish if you forgot about our line of sterling silver Fleur-de-Lis jewelry. We've even got some new styles of cuff links, tie clips, brooches, bracelets, and necklaces up for grabs. Does it go without saying that our jewelry would make a great holiday gift?

You from around here?

We've got a new shirt that will make it perfectly clear where the hell you're from. The WHY Louisville LOCAL tee is printed on a %100 pre-shrunk cotton unisex tee and will only set you back $17.99. Happen to be local to St. Louis, Montreal, or New Orleans? You can go ahead and grab one too. We won't tell your friends where it came from.

Also available in the ol' Web store.